My week so far

So, what a week it has been. I've been ill since wednesday the week before, and I needed to adjust to a totally different - much lower - energy level from then onwards. I've been advised not to work as much and to rest for more than I did, and take it slow, to accommodate the babe in my growing belly (26 weeks today!). Bummer. 

So, our weekend (or rarther my weekend) was slow and quiet. My husband and the boys went to a birthday party. 

Monday was slow as well, with the nanny caring for the kids and me sleeping and doing a tiny bit of work from bed. Tuesday same.

Wednesday I rode 1,5hrs to and fro to a meeting of one of my projects for my other biz. That was almost to much so I spend the afternoon sleeping.

Thursday I did some coursework from the couch and my first laundry in two weeks time (thanks to hubby). And I slept, of course. And kept working in finding a new balance for the coming months / third trimester of this pregnancy.

That led me to stop working for another project for my other biz, which I discussed today with the company I was hired by. The conversation was okay and though I hate to quit I strongly felt this was the sensible thing to do. So I feel very relieved. Am resting again as I write this, and tonight hubs and me are going out for dinner together. Looking forward to that, long time ago :).

And then its weekend again! We'll be having a bbq at my parents house on Sunday! Yeee!
 
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When mama gets ill

O help, you're ill.... And you can't ignore it and feel too weak to do anything else than focus on getting better*.

But, what about your kids now? And your husband (who must be an adult, come to think of it)? And your housekeeping, getting everyone a healthy meal, and o yes, work and/or your biz. 

I am so with you, dear girl. Once  year on average, I am in this boat. Just as right now. And since I do only have a biz (or two, actually), it seems I have to prioritize. Not to mention, I'm pregnant with boy number four, so that adds some responsibility for another person I cannot delegate. 

So, my steps to get healthy and up and running again?

 

1. Take a time out, and not 5 minutes. Clear your schedule for this day and the next with everything outside of your home. Communicate this clearly to everyone involved. Make a fort of your bed with water, tea, your laptop (netflix, email, Facebook) and some nice pillows and candles and stuff to make you feel better. 

2. Get help, from hubby, family, friends and professionals to take care of your kids, and optionally your home. Only be available for cuddles. Make sure you don't have to worry about the rest. Seriously, ask for help! 

3. Go see a doctor if you think that's needed. Make an appointment and make sure you have the time to discuss all that's bothering you. Ask for specific, doable tips to help you get better fast. 

4. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. This will make you better. 

5. Eat healthy things, such as veggies :) but, if appetite provides dilemma's for you (eating vs. feeling worse),  eat what you like at that moment but be aware of the effect it may have on your gut. 

6. Go back to your schedule and see if you have to clear some more. Make a plan to increase your busy-ness step by step over the few days. 

7. If  'disaster' strikes likes this, give yourself permission to Take Care of Yourself First! Here the airplane-analogy comes in handy again: if you don't take care of your own oxygen first, you might not be able to provide it for the people around you. 

 

Take care and get better dear momma, get well soon! 

 

 

* I do not refer to serious, life-threatening diseases or chronic illnesses here, more to something like  a fervent flu. I have the utmost respect for people who have to deal with  a chronic or life-threatening situation and I wish you all the best. 

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Planning like a pro

Woah! Hubby and I are spending our days working, taking care of and playing with our kids, and...

 

Haha, I'm writing this in a hotel... working between meetings here and other places. The waiter brings my tea and offers me a choice of flavors, saying "that this may be your most important choice for today" with a big smile :) . I hope so too, but fear otherwise. At least I also already know what's for dinner :)

 

So, where was I. Right, next to work and kids, we're having our dream house built. I know a lot of moms who are in kind of the same boat. That was a lot of to do's already, but three weeks ago our dear nanny announced she'd leave around half july. Panic all over!! It was unexpected and it's sad to see her leave, but the impact on my agenda is not small either. Every week since then hubby have spend five (5!!) hours per week in search of a new nanny. Writing a job posting, calling potential candidates we already knew, getting nanny-bureaus to search with us, et cetera. That's a small part time job on its own :) And so far, no result. Hmmm. 

 

However, to add this new hobby to my schedule takes some pro planning skills I didn't know I had. Like abs. So, how do you do all that???

 

1) Let's start with the fortunate fact that hubby and me can share the load and we tend to do that quite intentionally. Most sundays we have some sort of (very informal) planning meeting. Usually when our kids need downtime and are watching some Shaun the Sheep, or in the care when we are going to an outing. This way, we know what's coming at us the following week and what are the most important actions to take. Divide and conquer. 

 

2) Meal plan. This is becoming quite boring but over the past half year, we're eating pasta every wednesday and pizza every thursday. We always plan meals for a week ahead and have groceries delivered accordingly. When we watch the sales, usually delivery is free or discounted. 

 

... Meeting starts. More in due time! xox

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Please ROLL the ball... Nine strategies to make your toddler refrain from throwing things around

So... this is getting annoying in our house :)  Our eldest learned to roll things or put them down gently instead of throwing everything around the room. Until our second son came into the throwing phase and now the third one gets into the habit too.  Yes, "throwing things is an enjoyable new skill for children his age". And so it seems. Balls would generally be allright but books, toy cars, cutlery, food, and other hard objects are obviously not okay.

 

What usually works in our house are the following tactics, which do still take a little practice on my part...

  1. Sigh, count to three in my head and know the behavior is completely normal. And it is normal to get a little frustrated by it as a parent, and to want to nip it in the bud. 
  2. "Please roll the ball". "Blocks are for building". I try not just say "stop" or "stop throwing" but I name the behaviour I would like to see instead. Of course I never yell, stay upright and more than three feet away from them, or say this to them while we don't have eye contact... ahem.
  3. Do try to empathize though. There may be one of these three reasons for a toddler to throw things. The first is limited skills. Toddlers are limited in their ability to deal with challenging situations. Throwing could be one of his few ways to express himself or get your attention. Mmm. So, I need to avoid any attention deficits even more :) Did I mention there's three of them :). The second reason is curiosity. Toddlers want to know how the world (i.e. gravity) works. They love repetition too, and need it to develop an understanding of cause (I throw this) and effect (it lands on my brothers head and now he's hurt. See if that's the case every time I try). A third possible reason is fun. Yep. Toddlers might enjoy throwing because it gives them a sense of control. And sometimes it's just what they feel like doing, not having learned yet that it is not appropriate. Shame I'm not a certified teacher.
  4. Remove the thrown object. That is a logical and proportial consequence for inappropriate behavior once you have explained and acknowledged and indicated there is another place and time for throwing. Toddlers love to test limits, as you will be aware of. So, set them and empathically enforce them. And once you can assume kiddo knows the rules... don't warn,  but enforce immediately.
  5. Supply plenty of (soft) balls that can be thrown, to fulfill the apparent need (or addiction).
  6. Model the appropriate behaviour. So don't throw a towel their way of there's a bogey they can clean themselves and you're not close by. Don't throw. Anything. Except soft balls.
  7. Teach some more. Help your kiddo understand the effects of negative actions. “What happens to the birds in the cage when you throw your hammer at them?” Practice the skill of understanding another person's (animal's, thing's) point of view together, because that is hard. Imagine understanding your toddler.
  8. Get the kid(s) envolved in cleaning up any mess or mishap that is created by the throwing. Every time!! Together. Make it fun. You know what I mean, though it won't be a quick clean up this way. But then they will learn how to take responsibility for their actions, in this case cleaning up the mess they made themselves.
  9. And then... hug and then head outside and go throw some balls for real :) 

Lots of love. And patience! xox

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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